Forgotten Kisses, Forgettable Kisses

i realized last night that your kisses have changed. i kept wanting to bring it up, but i know you would ask what i meant and i realized i didn't know exactly how to put it into words.

i kept thinking of those peanut butter cookies my mom used to make during Valentine's Day (they were called Forgotten Kisses) and they made me sad because i couldn't remember the last time i had seen my parents kiss, and i thought maybe they had forgotten how. But you, i know you haven't forgotten how to kiss, but maybe forgotten something else.

A first kiss is a huge landmark, i feel. And it shows---it jumps, and impulse of will and fortune that is also an ultimate achievement, no matter how small or botched or alcohol-indused. <> i was told once, <>

They are trapped, they are treasured...maybe. Maybe just a laugh, a memory. Do you remember the first time you kissed, anyone? Do you remember the first time you kissed me?

So what is it about your kisses now? I guess it's that they are not forced, they are not monumental or especially noteworthy (<>) .

Maybe it's because they aren't stolen anymore, from time or other people or eachother. Perhaps a step closer to being forgotten, but not completely. No, not forgotten at all.

i am being too exclusive on this: this is for me, too. (i think back to those first few weeks, the phone conversations, even just a few days ago, and think <> Each kiss was with a reinvented person.

Maybe we are getting closer, maybe we are challenging eachother less, or maybe we are just no longer threatened by being caught unaware.

A cookie is just a cookie. Maybe kisses are forgettable, but not forgotten. That's where my parents went wrong. And we went right.

(this isn't at all a problem, not at all not at all. It would make no sense to be as complex as we are, and have kisses remain stagnant. I like it. I like the change. him, really, him>>(you know what I mean)>> )