Temporarily Out of Order

I miss running. A lot. Saying that aquajogging has the same effects as running is almost as bad as saying a waffle covered in ice cream is as good as sex, it's just bad analogies, bad puns and bad common sense all around. The company is infinitely better when running--for one, there usually is no company, or if you really want to get poetic, you can count on the companies of trees, forgiving trails, not so forgiving asphalt or the occasional courageous squirrel. The pool confines me to Danny DeVito-in-a-speedo watching my water acrobatics for 10 minutes before finally asking "So, are you running or something?" NO! I'm NOT running, who the hell would run, in a pool that has waves of hot and cold sections (let's not think about that too much, especially the rather warm section next to Danny D) when there's a road, a path, for gods sakes EARTH right outside the door, making me only one promise: it will get me as far away from YOU, and this glorified chlorinated pond scum as quickly as possible! I want to pound the shit out of my body and into the concrete and free myself for just a little while. I want to be on the brink of losing conciousness, I want to fight, fight against the wind or a hill or ongoing traffic, a cocky stranger on a bicycle, you, me, fuck, anything, anywhere, anytime, because I never fight anywhere else. I need to fight or else resign to the fact that life is just a highway and running is just another way to take a lap. If that's the case, then running and swimming should have no problems replacing one another. But if you mean to tell me, honestly, that running requires any calling from within, any passion whatsoever, then I never, ever, want to hear that swimming has the same benefits as running again.

Tomorrow is another day, and let's face facts: It's not likely that I will be healthy enough to push the pavement. So, Round 2?

I'm pissed, i'm enraged, i'm ready to bite my sister's hamster's head off and stick it in the chlorine filter just to get a laugh when the aquaqueens in their frilly skirts get a nice little surprise.

I'll do it. But I'm not going to like it.